Met with a midwife

 I was so excited because I found this practice that had both OBs and midwives. Not only that, they do deliveries in the hospital, they have tubs, and if i felt the need for made medication they could do that for me as well. its the best of both worlds. so i was excited to go to my apt today.

i get there at 8am (my apt time) and around 8:15 the guy at the desk said she was running late because she was doing rounds at the hospital. i said ok well thats fine. the hospital is literally next door so maybe another 15 min. 8:55 rolls around. meanwhile i'm freezing my ass off in this arctic reception room, i'm tired, hungry and mostly bored as hell. finally they call me in. and i'm like great this is it! all the literature said how much they care about their patients and they're all about making us feel comfortable and listening to us. but when i spoke to her she kind of wizzed by what seems like a rehearsed speech about what the next appointments will be like for the rest of pregnancy. i thought things would be different. i thought she would really sit and listen to me and empathise and make me feel at ease. but she didn't. all her answers were short yes/no answers. it felt like she was just rushing me. and when i asked her about the stomach pain she said it was a pulled muscle and i probably moved in some way i never moved before. ERRRNT. i've worn this bra over a year. this is what i do to adjust it. i've never felt this pain before in my life. but instead of seeing how concerned i was and assuring me it wasn't a big deal she just said "nope." no spoon of sugar to help the medicine go down. it made me feel kind of....unheard. i dunno. its just a gut feeling i had. i just didn't feel like she was listening to me. it was like when you're trying to get rid of a co-worker who's asking you questions. you just answer quickly to get them to leave you alone.

it just didn't feel right. and its supposed to feel right. i have an apt with them next week, so i'll give them another chance. but i'm gonna go ahead and look into other option. gotta shop around. also they do tub labor but no****erbirth and i really want to do a waterbirth. i found a birth center with glowing reviews a little further away. its a little granola but i'm gonna check it out. see if its a fit.

Hey Meli.  Sorry that 1st appt was a bummer.  But it's really important that you feel 100% comfortable with your doc/midwife.  they are basically your PCP for the whole duration of your pregnancy.  It's a wild ride and having someone there that you trust and can really connect with is really helpful.  I would encourage you to find a new practice.  Good luck!

 thanks maryn. i've heard that you have to trust your gut with these things. and if it doesn't feel right then find someone else. so i'm going to shop around. even my RE encouraged me to shop around. who knows,  i may look at the alternatives and decide this place isn't so bad.

Sorry your appointment sucked and you didn't get what you were looking for.  If I were you I would call the practice manager and tell her your experience that you had with this certain midwife and let them know that you hope that she was just having an off morning and that you would have liked to have had a bit more of a sincere interaction and that if they can't provide that to you that you will seek care elsewhere. (yes, i know I can be a *****)

 haha i couldn't do that!! lol. i'd rather just avoid them and find someone else. like i said i'll see how it goes next week. it might have been a one time thing.

Don't be afraid to shop around. I know it is challenging, but it is SO worth it! I started out with one doc, switched to another at another office (same practice), and then switched to a completely different practice. For me, that third time was a charm  :)

 thanks!!

I started off thinking I'd stay with my regular gyn because I really liked her. I learned that she switched practices right before I found out I was pregnant but was taking three months off while she was moving. I saw the doctor who had been in the previous practice with her but he was just ok. When she came back to work in her new office I saw her there. I was still comfortable in her care. Unfortunately another doctor in her new practice had had a bad experience with a VBAC and so the entire office was not allowed to let any of their patients try for one. I had already had a VABC so I wanted to try again. The thought was that if she were to allow me to try for one but wasn't on call the night I went into labor I might end up with another doctor who wasn't comfortable with it. So it was either schedule another csection or find a new doctor. I decided to change doctors again...ugh. I ended up at the most amazing office and had one of the best OB's in the area. She had absolutely no issue with allowing me to try for a VBAC. I had a few minor medical problems during the pregnancy and she was amazing throughout. Blake ended up weighing 9lbs 9ozs and my labor wasn't progressing so I ended up having a c-section afterall. It was such an emotional thing to go through. Had I not had complete confidence in her care I might have had resentment towards the whole thing. I know without a doubt that I was in the best care and that she did what had to be done. Blake and I were perfectly fine. She even practices a new procedure where they minimize the surgical pain from the csection. Looking back I realize that the whole problem of changing doctors was actually a Godsend.

I know this is long...sorry. I guess my whole point is- having a baby is an emotional event anyways. It doesn't matter how competent your professional is, if you aren't comfortable in their care then it doesn't matter how well trained they are. Make sure you're confident in every aspect of their care... their bedside manner, other doctors in their practice and most importantly their ability to care for you. If you don't trust her now then I'd hate to think what could happen if something that was a "big deal" came up. You only get 40 weeks to make a healthy baby...and just a few hours to bring them into this world, the decisions you all make for the next 30 or so weeks are huge. Hopefully she was just having a bad day. Good luck!

 thank you for sharing your story. i'm really very torn right now. i don't know if i want to go with this practice which allows me to labor in water but i have to give birth on the bed. but i can do it in any position i want. and there is the option of pain medication should i decide i need it. OR go the totally natural way and go to a birth center with only a midwife and have it completely natural in water or however i want. i'm so confused. i guess i just have to meet with both and just see which feels right.

the first practice, the one i went to, they don't do amniocentesis (sp?) they do a really painless procedure which is just an ultrasound and they compare that with blood tests and it tells them all they need to know. i have no idea what they do at the birth center. these are things i'm going to have to find out about.

i'm seeing this lady again on tuesday. we'll see how it goes. i might ask to meet with a different midwife. as a matter of fact.......

ok i just called to meet with a different midwife at the same practice. this way i can get a feel for someone else. i might like her more. this will give me a better idea of whether i want to stay with this practice or not. i'm hoping she is warmer. she's older and seems more experienced.

oh no...i just looked her up online and found some really bad reviews. yikes!!  i think this practice is not for me. going to look into the birth center. i feel so confused and overwhelmed :(